Digital+Peer+Review

  ===Below you will find a "Working Draft" of my current inquiry project. This includes my plans, notes and the interviews conducted by Kristen, with questions with responses, as well as, the student's sample work that was studied prior to the interviews. ===
 * Please feel free to use the discussion tab above to add ideas, comments, questions or other thoughts. Especially add any idea that may be a good topic for group discussion at our meeting 11/23/2009. Thanks for your input. :)**


=== I will be taking steps to "Clean this page up" and further organize it as my work progresses and moves to a more final stage. Please be patient with some of the organization at this point. ===

HVWP Literacy Teaching Practices Inquiry Project Investigation Focus: How does digital peer review during the "Review Writing" process impact student performance on the identified learning targets? Do you want to keep it focused on the Review writing project? -Mary Sawyer 11/17/09 4:13 PM Actually I was hoping to use this as a baseline and a guide for making the writing that we are currently beginning better for students. -Jack Zangerle 11/17/09 8:34 PM

//Start by asking students to read their work aloud. (Ask students not to read the comments aloud yet.)// A lison K yle S amantha B randon Ka yla
 * Student Writer Interviews:

Questions:**

K: I am good at ELA, but it depends on the prompt. I like fun writing and sometimes I get a boring prompt and it isn't my best work. S: I'd rather type it. I get lazy writing. I like to use the computer to research what you're writing. B: Uh..I sometimes enjoy it, but it's really boring. I think I am a good writer. Ka:** I like most kinds of writing, just not science fiction and non-fiction.
 * **How do you feel about writing? (Or, could try: "Tell me about yourself a writer") What might (are you) looking forward to writing? What might (are you) dreading?**
 * A: I am pretty good at ELA.

K: It is the best thing I ever wrote. I enjoyed writing it and I was excited about the game and it shows in my writing. S: I could have did better. I caught myself today when I was reading. B: It was kinda boring, but it was ok. I could have done a lot better if it was something else. I am more into making up my own story. Ka:** I feel like it was really really good.
 * **How do you feel about the Review that you wrote a few weeks ago?**
 * A: I wasn't sure about it at first, but now I think it's part of my better work. I didn't remember the book, but I went back and reread parts. I read this book in 6th grade. I though Z was talking about a book we read a long time ago.

K: It didn't bother me much. I didn't know if mine was good compared with other people. I went with tips from Z and I got more confident in my writing. S: I felt that it would help me if I were to edit again. They left comments about what I had to fix and stuff. When I first wrote it, I read it to the class and they gave me good feedback and I cut it down. B: When I realized that I think I should have done a little better. I thought it was only going to read by teacher. I would write better for students, it's like a group of people. It's like if you do writing for the NYTimes. Ka: I didn't feel any different, really. I don't have different writing styles, it's all the same (implying different writing for different audiences).
 * **While you were working on the various drafts of your Review writing, how did you feel about the fact that other students responded to your writing on the wiki? How did you feel knowing that your Review was going to be published to your classmates?**
 * A: I wasn't too sure about it and I would rather not have kids, I would rather have older people edit it, but some of these people helped. They are learning along with me.

// Ask student to read the comments they received from classmates. //**

K: I didn't read them all, but a lot were positive. The negative ones were helpful. By the time I got comments it was already posted. S: Some were helpful and some just stated opinion on Hannah Montana. I think that specific comments woudl be helpful, I guess. B: Kinda good. It was good to hear good things about what you wrote. I wrote that I don't have an audience, there was this other kid who had 107 comments and 5000 views. I would have liked comments on how I could fix it. I noticed that there were spelling errirs while I was reading it aloud. Ka:**They were all the same thing. Told me what was good, one said too much plot. Helpful? Yeah, kinda helpful.
 * **How do you feel about the comments that you received from your classmates? What kind of comments would you like to have received?**
 * A: I was surprised that there were a couple of comments I went back and changed. She didn't highlight the mistakes, so I went back and had to look pretty hard. I didn't know what I was looking for, but reading these made me realize what I was looking for. I would have liked specifics of where my mistakes were.

K: Got 7. I can kinda remember these comments and what o do in the next wrtg. I do see how repetitive and so I would change that. I commented on a couple of people's. S: 11 comments. Some were helpful and some were about Hannah Montana. B:2 comments. I left some comments, maybe like 4 of them, that said good and some that made suggestions. Ka:** I don't remember my comments to my classmates.
 * **How many comments did you receive? Can you describe the comments you gave your classmates? I wonder how many classmates they each responded to -Mary Sawyer 11/17/09 4:26 PM **
 * A: 9 comments...that's a low number out of a class of 24. Their comments were good, but I had mistakes that needed to be fixed. They were not that helpful because they just said it was good and didn't make specific suggestions. I

K: I think mine was better. I elaborated more and they theirs were confusing and it appears they just wanted to get it over with. S: I thought mine was better. People who had good comments from other people about things that they liked, I added stuff like that to mine to make it better. B: There were a few that were better and a few that were nothing compared with mine. Ka:** Mine was really really detailed and a lot of descriptions compared with other people's. They got right into plot and tiny bits of character.
 * **How do you think your work compared to the work of your classmates? Did you compare your writing to that of your classmates? If so, was this helpful for improving your writing? -Mary Sawyer 11/17/09 4:28 PM **
 * A: I went to my friends, not random people to comment on theirs. I thought mine was average compared to the others I read.

**A: Grammar, I added more to the shorter paragraphs based on what Z said, they said run-ons and I didn't see them. K: The changes I made were the opening. I jumped in too fast orginally. Changes were not based on comments. S: When I started, it was 5 pages long. I did like 18 drafts...some was little stuff. I have a lot of copies. I dind't post this until a last copy. I made some more changes and reposted it from home. B: I made changes based on Mr. Z's comments alone. Ka:** I did 4 or 5 drafts. I put in a lot more-beefed it up, chnaged a negative response, I was character bashing.
 * **What did you change in your writing over various drafts? Were these revisions prompted by the comments you received?**

K: I'd use better vocabulary and take out some paragraphs that were redundant. S: I would stick with what I have, but reading it aloud was very helpful and I would change stuff. B: Not really. Ka:** Just a couple of sentence changes.
 * **After looking at the peer comments you received, what other changes would you like to make before further sharing your work?**
 * A: Now that I look at it again, it lacks detail and maybe reread the book.

K: Opening paragraph, it drags the reader in and makes you want to read more. S: The part about the director is the best part. I did good research. B: Uh....I guess the..hmmm...the descriptive words. I would probably change a lot of the spelling errors and commas. Ka:** Plot descirption was //really really// good. I told a lot about the book without giving it away. I have a lot of bad sentences. One of them had messed up words. They were all there, but they didn't make sense.
 * **After reading your work, what do you like best about your writing in this piece? What do you want to change most?**
 * A: I like that I didn't remember the book and it came out ok. I would add more details and maybe the last paragraph and the opening that would capture the reader's attention.

K: Definitely. People can reflect on what you wrote and it would help you. S: Either wiki or reading aloud to the class. B: It's ok. I am sure it pressurizes students in a bad way knowing they will be seen by others, but it's probably good in the long run. Have it again. Ka: As long as it's getting read...whether it be in class or online. I like people to tell me it's too much or too little.
 * **Do you think your next writing assignment should include wiki/google apps comments from your peers similar to this assignment? Why or why not?**
 * A: Yes, because it helps.

//Ask student to read the list of learning targets aloud// Questions:** K: Yes. Mr. Z handed out a chart (rubric) which was helpful in identifying what to work on. He said that if we had anything in the chart that was only sort of complete, that's what we needed to work on. S: They were helpful b/c it said what was included and what needed to be there. If you think you can go into more detail than just the ten targets, you could write extra. B: They a very helpful when Mr. Z circled things I could put in there. I don't really use these targets. Ka:** Some were helpful and some I couldn't do that because it was already there (she didn't give author background since this book was an autobiography).
 * **Were the writing targets helpful to you as a writer? As a peer responder? Prompts: Explain that more... Tell me more...**
 * A: They help guide me. I kept checking back and see if I met the targets. I forgot about them until KMc pulled them out.

K: I postively met 8:10. S: 10:10. B: 7 or 8:10. I started with the title and director, which is a good introductory part. Ka:** 8:10.
 * **Which of the learning targets do you feel your writing met? Can you show me in your work?**
 * A: I think I met 5 or 7 of 10. Can easily pick them out in work.

K: Balanced opinion was not there. I was too positive and didn't put any negatives in. I didn't quote text because it's a video game. S: I didn't miss any. B: I know I didn't compare books, which is number 10. I wasn't balanced. I didn't write anything negative. I didn't really want to write anything negative. Influenced a little by another students' negative piece. Ka:** Author's previous work and background is intentionally missing. I also didn't compare to other work. (when we brought up this book's similarity to //A Child Called It,// she said that someone else had recommended that book but she just ahdn't read it yet)
 * **Which of the learning targets do you feel you missed? Why?**
 * A: Number 9 was weak, plot summary was a little weak. I just wanted to get it done. I wanted to get mistakes taken care of more than the targets.

K: Not really. Most comments are about the game and how my writing was good. S: No. B: Nope. Ka:** No.
 * **When you received comments from classmates, did they reference these targets?**
 * A: No, just grammar mistakes.

K: I only left 2 comments. I didn't reference targets. S: I think so, if I remember correctly. B: Nope. Ka: I don't think so.
 * **Did you reference the learning targets when you commented on other people's work?**
 * A: No.

Questions that Kristen has as a result of students' comments: Only commenting on friends' pieces?

"I would like both students and teacher feedback and maybe regular people feedback, as long as it doesn't become overwhelming (like more than 30 reviews)."

Value of __specific targets__ vs. value of __peer feedback.__..

"I don't get the grades from peers, I get the grades from Mr. Zangerle."**

All students found errors while reading aloud to me, regardless of how many other drafts or feedback they had received.

Student Writer Interview Materials

Alison Kurtz **I love all the action that Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli brings to the table. At just sixteen, he decided to begin writing and now today he's known all around the world as this amazing author, well depending on what kind of reader you are. He's mostly an author for teens and if you read his books and are a teen, it's with great possibility you can relate to them.I like jerry Spinelli's previous work which includes books Wringer which we read last year and Maniac Magee which was in reading class in 6th grade. A lthough, i give this book a pretty good review, i disliked some of it. It kicks off by Stargirl moving to this new school and i think that Jerry Spinelli could've included a little more than her just coming to the school.There's a few more, like for instance, i felt like they didn't really say to much at times and the chapter's were short so there really could've been more in each chapter. I like how some of his books have similiarities and some are nothing alike, it shows variety. The Main character was Stargirl, who was mysterious and kind of out of the ordinary. She wore a white,frilly almost wedding-like dress for her first day in a new school.The main conflict was that Stargirl just didn't fit in no matter what she tried she was always labeled as different by her classmates.She didnt know it then but that was all about to take a new direction. Normally, people have their moods but not Stargirl, she was always cheerful and just so Happy."what? you've never had peanut butter and salmon"- stargirl She's not like the others and she's always bringing something new to school. People around her started to get irritated so as you can probably tell there were some conflicts. She,meaning Stargirl got off to a pretty rough start and nobody seemed to like her and this fact never bothered Stargirl. Stargirl is quite a unique character,especially in this book. In my opinion, Stargirl is a really good book and appropriate for all ages.I liked it mostly because of the whole lesson that this book is trying to teach. The lesson learned is that no matter where you go there's always going to be conflicts with other people but you can't let them get the best of you. Stay you and everything else will fall into place eventually. Here's a world i'd like to take an adventure in.**

Okay.I thought this was pretty good. Just a few things would make it great. Your grammer and there are a couple of run-on sentances. Other than that it was pretty good. Posted Oct 15, 2009 1:52 pm - [|[delete]] || its a good review just a few mistakes Posted Oct 16, 2009 8:06 am - [|[delete]] || Great review, but needs to be checked over for some grammer mistakes though. Posted Oct 16, 2009 8:08 am - [|[delete]] || Very good, justa little grammer mistakes and the begining could have a little more detail. Posted Oct 16, 2009 8:46 am - [|[delete]] || good job Allie this is a really good reviwe i give it a thumbs up!! Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:04 am - [|[delete]] || Nice job! It seemed like a pretty good movie. Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:40 am - [|[delete]] || I give it five stars. Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:42 am - [|[delete]] || Nice job seems like you like this movie Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:42 am - [|[delete]] || Good review but you focused only on one character really and seemed a little repetitve Posted Oct 16, 2009 1:22 pm - [|[delete]] ||
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 * Kyle Murry Bullets whistle all around you, gunshots echo in the distance, shouts of horror and help are nailed into the back of your skull, never to be forgotten. As you fight your way to freedom. You are forced to kill Japanese and German soldiers, anyone who stands in your way, you show no mercy. These are the darkest days in American history. Is this real? Am i dreaming? the answer is yes. You have just entered the world of Call of Duty World at War. The producers at Treyarch have devoloped this videogame that brings that real-life warefare to your very fingertips. There have been four previous Call of Duty video games, each one better than the previous. The workers at Treyarch knew they couldn't make the game any better, so instead they decided to just keep the Call of Duty series rolling.The game starts out as you playing an American soldier named Pvt. Miller. You have just been captured and your in a Japanese prisoner holding camp. As you witness you fellow conrads being slaughtered your miraculously saved by backup soldiers. You also play as a Russian soldier named Pvt. Pentrenko. You switch between characters all throughout the campaign battling a healthy balance of Japaneses Banzai Attackers and German Nazis. The games graphics are amazing and its almost like your a real soldier battling in World War II. The weapon selection is outstanding combining guns from the past with futuristic guns. You can play with a wide range of guns such as the PPSH, Ghewer 41, and BAR. This game is extremely realistic, its a one shot one kill game instead of you having to shoot the enemy ten times before he finally drops dead. The blood effect could be better though. Instead of having just red coloring fall from the dying guy the workers at Treyarch could have made it more realistic. The game's storyline is also very realistic. It takes actual missions that happened in World War II and puts them in the game, such as the "Attack On The Reichstag" (Germany's Nazi headquarters) Here all of Germany's dark plans and eerie actions planed, its pretty much the heart of the Nazis. It is a horrifying building to look at and soldiers tremble at the thought of entering it. The game in total has fourteen thrilling levels bringing you on a journey back into the days of World War II. My personal favorite level is "Resistance." In this level you have to eliminate the Japanese anti-tank positions and fight your way to the dark filled Japanese underground trenches where you cant see three feet in front of your face, not knowing what lies ahead. Although the game seems to just suck you right in and you want to go to the store and purchase it right now you should be aware of one major detail. The game lacks a lot of extras with different video game consoles. The game is made for: Play Station 3, Xbox 360, and Wii. The game is the same for Play Station 3 and Xbox 360. But if you buy the game for the Wii its entirely different. The game for the Wii is missing a ton of features that are in the other two systems. For example the game for Wii is missing split screen multiplayer. The other two systems have multiplayer. If you want to play multiplayer for the Wii you can only play online, if you don't have an online connection to your Wii then you cant play multiplayer at all. Another thing is that the game for Wii doesn't have Nazi Zombies. Nazi Zombies is where you baracade your self in a bunker and fight Nazi Zombies off until you finally die. This extra is the crowd's favorite and is a huge downfall because it is not included for Wii. The reason for this is because the Wii is the least popular game system and not many people will buy this game for the Wii console. Your best bet is to buy the game for Xbox 360 or Play Station 3. But if you have a Wii console and you do buy the game for it you will only be getting a taste of the action. Since Treyarch wanted the game to seem as real as possible they have a lot of dialogue in the game. Some of this dialogue may not be suitable for children because it contains explict language which may not be suitable for certain children. Not all of the dialouge is bad though, some of it may be the difference from you beating the level or dying. Your platoon sergeant (Sgt. Roebuck) sometimes gives you orders such as "Miller! Mount that MG and take out those bunkers!" This game compared to other first person shooter games is dominant. If you were to compare this game to Medal of Honor you would find that the Call of Duty series has more to offer. For example, In the game Medal of Honor there isn't a lot of levels, only ten, and even with ten levels there still isn't enough to satisfy the average gamers craving for action. Call of Duty has fourteen levels and each one is gaurenteed to make you want to play on. Another difference is that Medal of Honor is made for people who know how to play the game, but with Call of Duty the game teaches you how to play as you go along. Medal of Honor however, offers more multiplayer scenerios than Call of Duty. But overall Call of Duty turns out to be the better game. This game is extremely realistic and every level just makes you hungry for more action. Even after you beat the game there is still things to do so the game just doesn't become "another game on the shelf." You can play Nazi Zombies, play multiplayer split screen, or play online against other live players. Each level is action packed and you never want to put down the controller. The game is also historically accurate, so as your playing the game you also learn about some of the events that occurred during World War II. The game has little movie clips that also educate you about the war before you deploy into the mission. I highly recommend this game to males. But if your a female who enjoys first person shooter games like this there no is stopping you from playing it. This game is for adventure and thrill seekers. The game is very popular in America and was voted the game of the year. This game is recommended best for ages 13 and up because there is graphic scenes and explict language. The average game price ranges from $50-$60 (United States) I brought it for $59.95, and I rate this game a outstanding 5/5. Great work Treyarch!**

Your paragraphs seem very repetitve. Posted Oct 15, 2009 1:51 pm - [|[delete]] || Yeah Justin is right, you should more-or-less change the topic of each paragraph, maybe talk about the creator more and what other games they have made. Posted Oct 15, 2009 7:54 pm - [|[delete]] || I thought your opening was very strong. Posted Oct 15, 2009 8:10 pm - [|[delete]] || Your whole review was awesome! Posted Oct 16, 2009 8:56 am - [|[delete]] || i love the game and this describes every ounce of hhow it feels to play it Posted Oct 16, 2009 8:57 am - [|[delete]] || I LIKE THE OPENING Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:02 am - [|[delete]] || I like the begging of the review, its very nice and good job. ||
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 * Samantha Davis From the opening minutes of his new movie Peter Chelsom draws us into a country-filled world of horses and cowboys.The Hannah Montana Movie will take you on an exhilarating horseback ride as Miley goes from a pop star to a farm girl. When Miley, the main character, gets off of the plane she thinks she has arrived in New York for an award show, but she soon realizes that she is in her home town of Crowley Meadows, Tennessee.On the truck ride back to her grandma's house she gets in a fight with her brother and dad and they leave her on the side of the road to walk home. She sits down on her luggage and a horse comes up and pulls the wig off of her head,but what she doesn't notice is that that horse is hers. She takes off her Hannah clothes, jumps the fence and starts petting Blue Jeans. She soon meets a cowboy named Travis.He comes in on his horse, lassos Blue Jeans, and takes Miley back to her grandmas house. She went into town with her grandma to see some jars of fruit. Grandma went over to the table and the man said the he was going to turn Crowley Meadows into a mall. Miley is at the stand serving samples of watermelon to people, when she sees a reporter from LA. The reporter has been following Hannah around thinking there was something going on with her. Travis and Miley cleaned out the old chicken coop on the inside and were starting to paint it on the outside. Then Travis said " Life's a climb... but the view is great."They have so much fun and he realizes that he likes her. That night there was a fundraiser going on and Miley went up and sang the Hoedown Throwdown. Then Travis yelled out over the microphone that Miley knows Hannah Montana and she said that she could get her to sing a concert.Then a couple of days later Travis asked Miley out on a date on the same day that there was a lobster dinner for Hannah's arrival.So all night she kept changing her clothes and going back and forth back and forth. See the movie to find out if she gets caught. The only part of the movie I didn't like was the ending because i thought there would be more of an ending besides the song and the kiss. I would recommend this movie to people who aren't too old for kid movies and people who are kind of into love stories. The director of The Hannah Montana Movie is Peter Chelsom. Peter was nominated for 2 BAFTA Film Awards.Another 11 wins and 1 nomination,some of the other wins were the 1995 Golden Hitchcock for Funny Bones and he won the 1998 Young People's Jory Award for The Mighty.He acted as Oliver Sutherland in 1987s Indian Summer.He wrote and produced the 1995s Funny Bones. And lastly he acted as himself in the 2000s The Trya Banks Show. The Hannah Montana Movie is related to other diney movies because of the way the characters are and the words and the way the movie is directed and produced. **

awesome review for an awesome movie. Posted Oct 16, 2009 8:59 am - [|[delete]] || i love hannah montana Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:03 am - [|[delete]] || This was great Sam I wanted to see this movie so bad but i can't buy it either so im glad you liked it Sam. Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:03 am - [|[delete]] || Good job sam, I really liked the movie too. Good Job Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:04 am - [|[delete]] || its very very good Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:33 am - [|[delete]] || I don't like Hannah Montana but your review is very very very very good!! You detailed the story. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You did a good job. Before it was really long but now you got to the point. Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:36 am - [|[delete]] || The movie Hannah Montana was so good by reading yor review i want to see it again! Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:41 am - [|[delete]] || very good at cutting some of that info you had. and yes the movies vey good and u narrowed alot of the info the info that you had(: Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:41 am - [|[delete]] || very good about cutting out some of your info and it was a good movies  Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:46 am - [|[delete]] || i saw this movie and it was really good and reveiw is good to i would have gave you an 90  Posted Oct 16, 2009 9:55 am - [|[delete]] || I loved your review. Your Hannah Montanna review was very informative and makes me want to see the movie. You did kind of gave away the ending though by telling us at the end Miley and Travis kissed. On the other hand, great work and I am looking forward to see your future reviews,stories, or letters. ||
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 * [[image:http://www.wikispaces.com/user/pic/1255038178/CamilloneG-lg.jpg width="48" height="48" caption="CamilloneG" link="http://www.wikispaces.com/user/view/CamilloneG"]] || [|CamilloneG]

The dark knight directed by Christopher Nolan who also produced memento(2000) and the prestige(2006) is the newest batman based film, Christopher Nolan was enspired by star wars as a child to do short sience movies and when he directer batman it won 2 oscars and was up for 52 nominations!!!The movie was a thrill and it was defenitly 5 stars.The special effects were mind bogeling,from explosions to jumping off rooptops and even a high speed car chases! The movie was rich with action,not only expolsions and car chases but dramatic fights and an intense confrontaions with the joker,The joker himelsef was played by Hieth Ledger who even said "i sometimes have trouble sleeping at niight from the role that i play",but from my opinion it didnt seem like it, when the camera was rolling he blew up buildings,insulted cops and even went as far as trying to blow up a hospital! The film itself is mainley about the joker wanting nothing but chaos,he lurks in gothem city witch is already loaded with criminals, so much that you can bearly leave your house.The heroic knight of gothem city,the batman,cant take his filth in the city anymore and they both decide that one has to go,the joker said "its simple you hafto kill the batman", and batmans race agianst time to stop innocent people from dying had began.Even if you havent seen any batman movie before is a must see thriller,it has action,adventure,mystery,and is worth the fact that its 3-4 hours long.**
 * Brandon Gordineer

i dont have an audience.....aaw..... Posted Oct 16, 2009 1:06 pm - [|[delete]] || Wow Brandon, you do have an audiance, they aren't here yet! :) I did not expect you to write like this! This is an amazing review! (sorry for underestimating you:-) )Lots of detail.Excellent. ||
 * [[image:http://www.wikispaces.com/user/pic/1255625858/GordineerB-lg.jpg width="48" height="48" caption="GordineerB" link="http://www.wikispaces.com/user/view/GordineerB"]] || [|GordineerB]
 * [[image:http://www.wikispaces.com/user/pic/1255625858/GordineerB-lg.jpg width="48" height="48" caption="GordineerB" link="http://www.wikispaces.com/user/view/GordineerB"]] || [|GordineerB]
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**


 * Kalya Dale

Imagine yourself in and out of foster homes, institutes, and children homes, separated from your four brothers while your mother was in and out of hospitals battling physical and mental illnesses. This was the true story of eight year old Jennings Burch.Things said, like, "I dream of belonging to somebody. You know, having them tuck me in bed and kiss me goodnight. It's dumb, I know, but I dream about it sometimes." stab your heart with grief and sadness for the boy to young to experience such pain. It starts with a young red-headed, boy and his mother on the train in Brooklyn in the early 1850's. She takes him to the Home Of Angels and leaves. He is left with nothing but the clothes on his back and the one glimmer of hope that his mother would come back for him. He was alone and sad, crying often at the memory of an old life and family. As the book entices you to keep going with vivid and suggestive language, it also makes you feel Jennings pain, suffering and the happiness as he finds love and friendship throughout his young age.

After being dropped of by his mother, Jennings is expected to get right into the groove of how things run in Home Of Angels. Whenever he does something wrong, he gets slapped or worse by Sister Frances. He is starved for two days because he did not know what and where to go during meal times. He meets an overweight boy with glasses and black hair named Mark is an orphan, or what the system calls a lifer. Lifers are children who don't have a living known family member. Mark knows the tricks and trades of living in a home and shows Jennings how to act and things to do on his first day. Jennings believes Mark is his first friend until he is told that they can't hang out or get attached to one another, leaving Jennings alone again. That same night, he met Sister Claire, a young, sweet nun who is compassionate and shows the children that they are important. Sister Claire comforted Jennings when he needed it and made him feel special. She gave him the greatest give he could ever receive, a stuffed dog named Doggie. In the mornings when the animals are given back, Jennings asks Mark why. His response was, "They cage the animals at night. They always cage the animals at night." The grim response seemed like nothing at first, but affected Jennings later on.

Doggie became Jennings best-friend. He went everywhere Jennings went and was never left behind except for school and when he was among the people of other homes. Doggie was always with Jennings for comfort or when he needed to talk, because Doggie always responded to Jennings, helping him when he needed it. When Jennings finally reunited with his brothers, he found someone he wasn't expecting, his big brother Jerome. Jerome was born with a hole in his heart and lived most of his life in a children hospital. Jerome was the brother Jennings always wanted; kind and caring, wise and smart, and helped Jennings see life from a different perspective. His brothers are much like J.K. Rowlings' Weasley brother because of the red hair, freckles' and six boys, but unlike the loving Weasley's the Burch boys personalities were so different they clashed on a regular basis. They rarely seemed to get along with anyone but Jennings, and even that was infrequent. While his other brothers (oldest to youngest) George the breadwinner, Walter the brain, Larry the black sheep, and Gene the baby all never understood him, but Jerome could see help Jennings with his family life and social life. When Jerome was sent back to the hospital, Jennings felt alone all over again.

When they moved out to the rich side of Bronx, Jennings met Sal, the bus driver who drove him to his school. Sal and Jennings made such a strong connection that Sal referred to him as his son. When kids at school beat Jennings up for being poor and wearing their used clothes, Sal came charging in demanding to see his son. Sal also got closer to the family, causing problems with the oldest brother, George who until then had been the breadwinner for the family. George, who already drank and argued with his brother and mom, drank more and came home less. When Sal got a new job being away for weeks at a time, the family began to fall apart. Things finally hit the breaking point with the troubles with their relationships with one another.

This book casts a spell on you straight until the end and will make you regret putting the book down for even a minute. This makes you feel the pain Jennings feels and the happiness, too. At times I felt it was dragged on over the same topic we read about three pages ago, but all in all, it is one of the best books I have read in my life. I felt myself arguing and agreeing with character thoughts, opinions, actions, and statements. If you enjoy reading about a child's struggle to overcome the obstacles in his life, learning many thing the hard way but learning them nonetheless this is for you. It gives you an inside to the view of the child care system and foster life.**

I think the review is really good. A few sentencs sound funny and maybe there's too mich plot? Posted Oct 7, 2009 3:25 pm - [|[delete]] || I really like your opening and closing. The opening is very thoughtful and really sets the stage for the review. Posted Oct 7, 2009 7:07 pm - [|[delete]] || good job Kayla the opening kept me wanting to read Nice Posted Oct 17, 2009 8:49 am - [|[delete]] ||
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Review Writing Learning Targets


 * 1. I can include a description of the main character in my review.

2. I can include enough plot summary in my review to help the reader understand what to expect in the story.

3. I can identify the specific opening strategy I used in my review.

4. I can include a balanced opinion in my review. (Both positive and negative)

5. I can include quoted text from the novel (or other source) to help describe the main character.

6. I can include a description of the setting of the novel (or other source) in my review.

7. I can provide a recommendation for people who may or may not like this work.

8. I can include discussion of the author's previous work.

9. I can provide information about the author's background.

10. I can include a comparison of this book to other similar books.

HVWP** Literacy Teaching Practices Inquiry Project Investigation Focus:
 * How does digital peer review during the writing process impact student performance on identified learning targets? **

1. Examine models of implementation 2. Study writing samples from previous work 3. Get feedback from students through third party interviews 4. Students will use Google Docs and wikispaces and create, collaborate and publish writing for peer review. 5. Teach students strategies for effective peer review both as a reviewer and person being reviewed. 6. Formative revision evaluation ||= Hopes and Goals 2. The interest and excitement created will translate into increased focus by students on meeting the required learning targets for the assignment. ** ||
 * = Plan for Study
 * 1. Allowing students to offer their work for peer review while in the middle of the writing process will create interest and excitement around the assignment.

1.Period 2 a.5 students b.Range of writing abilities c.Students TBA ||= Questions and Concerns a. Will this project take too long? ** ||
 * = Focus Group for Study
 * 1. Timeline concerns

1. Comparasion of student's writing before and after the process a.Do they meet the targets 2. Anecdotal feedback from student interviews --What did you change most about your writing over various drafts. --After looking at the peer comments you received, what other changes would you like to make before further sharing your work? --After re reading your work, what do you like best about your writing in this piece? What do you want to change? --How do you feel about writing? What are you looking forward to writing? What are you dreading? ||  || Resources for Reference 1.__Lessons that Change Writers-__ Nancie Atwell
 * = Measurement

2. __Teaching Adolescent Writers:-__Kelly Gallagher

3.__The Digital Writing Workshop__- Troy Hicks ** ||

Asking students to metacognitive is good, but difficult. Excellent laser-like focus, Jack.

The Student Writer Interview Process
Student Writer Interviews: //Start by asking students to read their work aloud.// Questions:


 * How do you feel about writing? What are you looking forward to writing? What are you dreading?
 * How do you feel about the Review that you wrote a few weeks ago?
 * While you were working on the various drafts of your writing, how did you feel about the fact that your work was going to be published to your classmates?
 * How do you feel about the comments that you received from your classmates? What kind of comments would you like to have received?
 * Can you describe the comments you gave your classmates?
 * How do you think your work compared to the work of your classmates?
 * What did you change most about your writing over various drafts?
 * After looking at the peer comments you received, what other changes would you like to make before further sharing your work?
 * After re reading your work, what do you like best about your writing in this piece? What do you want to change most?

//Ask student to read the list of learning targets aloud// Questions:
 * Which of the learning targets do you feel your writing met? Can you show me in your work?
 * Which of the learning targets do you feel you missed? Why?
 * When you received comments from classmates did they reference these targets?
 * Did you reference the learning targets when you commented on other people's work?